Pardon?

How can you read something in English, and still not understand a word? I am about to buy my winter's firewood (after the DJ laughingly stated on the radio she had to use up the whole winter's supply last sunday). I'm thinking of getting it from:

http://firewood.com/index.cfm/pageid/2

But what's a chord?

Oh, and my relocation person tells me that the real reason Amercians do not reply to my "G'day!" in the gym changing room is because it's really, really weird.